Things on My Mind

There have been many thing on my mind as of late. I have not quite been feeling myself. It has been said that we (humans) are creatures of habit.

If that is true, are we destined to keep repeating the same things that we all do? I mean, I know that each of us have some type of map that we live every day by, but what happens when that becomes something that you cannot live by anymore? Does there need to be some great outside event that will shake our lives to the point that we change, or do we just get so fed up with our lives that we are forced to change it.

I feel that part of my problem is that whenever I get fed up with my life and want to make a change I am never able to stick with it. I feel that the root of this problem is my lack of motivation to really change my life. I am become comfortable with the way I have been living, hence the map I was talking about. When I change that, I feel off and it never sticks. I am not quite sure what to do.

The two things that have been giving me the most problem are my physical appearance (many contributors, but mainly my weight) and my lack of confidence when it comes to approaching women.

I will come out and say it. I have never successfully been in a relationship. I don't mean that when I get into one, I cannot keep it, but that I just cant seem to get into one. For some unknown reason to me, whenever there is a girl I am attracted to, I clam up around her, until we start talking a little bit. It is almost like I see women like that as a mythical being and am afraid to approach them, but as soon as contact is made, the "spell" is broken and I see that they are a normal person just like me. I feel that I just need to have one successful experience and then I will be able to approach this with a different light... but enough of my personal problems with women.

Untimatly I feel that everything comes down to motivation.